going to be a very badly written post because i’m exhausted and listening to safetysuit as I drift off to bed. Today was good. Tired as fuck, but nonetheless satisfying to see young(er) minds in action, regardless of how cocky they were(okay wow I’m complaining about people being cocky).
On the way home, I met C on the train and were bitching about how tiring RMUN was together. Started talking about training yesterday and debate in general and ended up opening about much more than I ever intended to. About things that matter, about why I’m still doing this, what I worked through to get where I am now and what I have done to get what I wanted out of this. The train stopped and I had to get off and she asked me something that stunned be right there and then, both because of how she asked it and how she realised what had happened, through everything. She turned around and asked “you really care about her, don’t you? that’s why you’re still here?” I told her yes. Yes I do. Insanely much, more than I ever expected to again. If she gets it, why don’t you.
“I think I’ll be gone away a while,
tell me all the things I’ll be missing here
in this old life because I just don’t know”